Why is being confident so dang hard? Wow I feel like I've been hit with a wave of self-doubt recently. Why do I say the meanest things to myself? It is so hard feeling like enough, when we put our worth in the world. I needed a reminder this week that He is where I should get all my worth from. Recently I have been putting my worth in social media, weight, even motherhood. All my life I have been pretty successful. But recently I have felt like a BIG FAT FAILURE. I've realized that I crave a lot of acceptance and praise from others to feel noticed, worthy, and happy. Even taking these pictures took a lot of encouragement from my husband. I felt completely embarrassed and stupid getting dolled up to take pictures at a lake. That is so unlike me. Something did help me get in front of that freaking dumb camera. And that's my mom. I love seeing pictures of her when she was my age, in that cute bikini on the beach or with her friends at the fair, or with me as baby. I want to give that to my girls too. I want to give them everything I can.
Motherhood has taken a lot out of me. Made me feel truly empty at times. Completely out of gas and running on fumes. Thinking that at any moment my body will shut down and I'll need someone to come fill me up. Most of the time motherhood fills me with the purest joy and happiness I have ever experienced. Having two tiny girls love me no matter what I look like, what I wear, what my political beliefs are, what my past is....they love me unconditionally.
Why can't I love myself the way they love me? Why can't I love myself the way God does?
To the mom in the sweats who hasn't spoken to another adult in days, I see you. To the mom who literally avoids mirrors because you hate the weight you've gained, I see you. To the mom who can't even cry after a long day because you are too tired for tears, I see you. To the mom bouncing her baby up and down trying to get them to fall asleep, I see you. I see you. I know you. I am you.
We are not alone. God literally hears and sees you..
Let's put our worth in Him.
And let's take some freaking pictures of ourselves.
xo carly


































