I can't believe my little baby is 3 months old. I feel like she has been a part of our lives forever. Not going to lie, being a mom is hard. I've never had to give up so much in my life. Everything revolves around this little girl now. I can't make any decision without thinking of her first. Being parents has rocked mine and Taylor's world. But is the best experience we have ever had together. Harper is getting so chunky. I love it. Her personality comes out more and more every day. I can tell she is going to be a little trouble maker. She already has tons of energy. I love waking up to her squirming around in her bassinet talking away. There is no doubt in my mind that she is going to be one active child. We are going to have our hands full for sure. All jokes aside, Taylor and I are so lucky. Harper is such a happy and easy baby. I love doing these little photo shoots together. She actually is totally intrigued by the camera. Maybe she will make videos with mama one day ;)

xo Carly 

I've been struggling a lot lately with displaying myself on social media. Mostly because I face an internal battle between posting what I want and what I think over people will like. When I first started using social media I always just posted what I wanted to. I didn't care what people thought. If they didn't like it they could unfollow me. Somewhere along the way I stopped being authentic and started to try to be "perfect." It was exhausting and of course I could never live up to it. I was so concerned about getting likes and gaining followers that I lost who I was. I felt so fake and honestly pathetic. I didn't want people to follow me because they thought I was perfect. I wanted them to follow me because they were interested in who I really was and what I had to say. After taking a short break from social media I have decided to just be me. To be REAL. And whoever likes it, likes it and who ever doesn't, doesn't. I couldn't care less. I want my social media platforms to be places of light and glimpses into my incredibly blessed life. I think that if you master who you really are, then people will flock to you naturally. So get ready for more blog posts of my honest opinion and things that I really care about. Cheers to a new journey of being me and being REAL. 

xoxo, Carly

I've read so many of these that it seems unreal to be sharing my own. I will try to keep this entertaining, but I am mainly writing this so that I can look back at it and remember all the details. 

It all started at about 12am on June 21st. Taylor and I were in the living room watching TV like we do every night. Taylor was working on some hw that he had. He was suppose to be going on a field trip at 4 in the morning. Luckily his teacher changed the time to 6am so we had some extra time to sleep, so we thought. At midnight I was having some cramps. Nothing major just like a period. It wasn't really painful, just uncomfortable. So we went to bed and at about 1:30am I started having harsher pains and began running to the bathroom. That was happening about every 30 minutes. By 3:30am I was running to the bathroom every 10 minutes and then pretty soon I couldn't leave. I was feeling super nauseous and my cramps were suddenly mind numbing. At 4:30 I woke up Taylor and had him get me a banana and Gatorade. He walked me to the couch and started timing my contractions. They were happening every 2-3 minutes. I was in so much pain. Taylor asked if I wanted to go to the hospital and I was like "Okay... " I was really nervous. My mom wasn't in town like we had planned and suddenly I felt really unprepared. I wasn't ready to push out a baby!

Taylor gathered up all our bags and packed the car. Then it was time for ME to walk to the car... I couldn't make it. I threw up in a bowl on top of our neighbors car for like 3 minutes. How was I going to survive the drive to the hospital?

Taylor and I pulled up the hospital and we didn't really know where labor and delivery was...we weren't prepared at all haha. So I said just bring me to the ER. I just wanted to get into the hospital asap. Taylor went into the ER and started talking to the receptionist. It felt like he took 30 minutes, it probably was only 3. Finally he grabbed me a wheel chair and they wheeled me to labor and delivery. By this time I was telling Taylor I can't do this! He was so sweet reminding me that I could. Let's be honest I didn't really have a choice at this point. I was really freaking myself out.

They brought me into a room and checked what I was dilated at... 2cm. Great I hadn't progressed since my last doctors visit. But I was 100% effaced. Whatever the frick that meant. All I knew is I wanted drugs and I wanted them now. They gave me oxygen because I was freaking out. They asked me what my pain was on a scale from 1 to 10.. 10 being the worst pain I had ever felt in my pain. UH TEN! They decided that I could stay until my doctor came to check me out. It took about 2 hours for him to get there. Those 2 hours were horrifying. Seriously I was in so much pain. Taylor was being so helpful though. He helped me breath through each contraction and endure the pain. I could not have done this without him. They wouldn't give me an epidural until my doctor checked me. So once he came at like 7:30am I was dilated to 6cm. Hallelujah!!!! He was shocked that I had progressed that much in 2 hours. He said that this was the fastest he had seen for a first time mama. I was like okay that's nice when can I get drugs. He said I could get an epidural. I started crying I was so happy just thinking of the relief it would bring. The nurses told me that the anesthesiologist was in the hospital so it should only be a few more minutes. They hooked me up to an IV and gave me some fluids. My doctor said I could have pain meds through the IV, but they didn't give me any.

ONE HOUR LATER. Still no epidural. By this point my contractions were death. They were 30 seconds apart and lasting for a minute each. I endured that for AN HOUR. I kept thinking he will be here any minute..I only have to endure one more. Yeah 30 contractions later my doctor came back in to check me. I was at 9 cm. I could tell he was worried I hadn't had my epidural. I guess my anesthesiologist had been in a c section. My doctor left the room and started yelling down the hall to get the epidural to me NOW! I was grateful he was aggressive because I was dying. The anesthesiologist came in and gave me the epidural. I was just leaning against Taylor while they stuck it in. It didn't really hurt. I was in so much pain that I hardly noticed the sting. It just felt like a shot and then some pressure. They asked Taylor if he was okay, I guess dads have passed out watching before. He was a trooper. Then the sweet relief kicked in. I could not feel any pain. It was amazing. I felt like I could finally breath again. 

Baby girl wasn't low enough for me to start pushing so they wanted to wait a few hours for her to labor down. They told me I could start pushing once I felt a ton of pressure. Taylor and I just hung out and watched tv. I got to drink some water and text my family. For the first time I felt like I could do this! This is easy! About an hour later they emptied my bladder.... That was weird. Taylor decided to leave after that to grab somethings from home and get some food. Before he left he gave me a blessing. It was really special. I felt so connected to him and to my Heavenly Father. I knew that everything would be okay.

Afterward, I kept wanting to sleep but the nurses were asking me a thousand questions and kept rotating me from side to side. So I slept for like 10 minutes. After two hours on the epidural I was feeling the urge to push so I texted Taylor to come back!!! My nurse checked my cervix and accidentally broke my water. It was this huge gush of warm fluid. Like a water balloon exploded. Taylor was like WHAT THE HECK! He kept saying how it was the craziest thing he had ever seen...well until he saw me give birth.The nurse told me that in a few minutes I would start to push. She looked at me and Taylor and said "This is the last time it will be just the two of you, I'll give you a minute." Those last moments together we're some of the most special memories we have shared.

A few minutes later I was starting to push. I was kinda freaked out though because my epidural was wearing off. I kept pushing the button for more. But it was too late for that. I started to push and I was getting pretty nervous to meet our little girl. I'm getting nervous tummy tingles just thinking about it now. Pushing was actually fun. It was definitely my favorite part of delivery! I pushed for about an hour and the nurse kept saying "Look at that hair!!!" They rolled over this huge mirror and showed me. Yup! Lots of brown hair!

After an hour of pushing baby was starting to make her debut! They called for the doctor to come and told me to stop pushing. My doctor came in, saw that my baby was almost out. He threw his gloves and cover on to deliver the baby. One of his gloves ripped of course so he had to replace it. While he was doing all this, my baby was COMING OUT. I kept saying I'm not pushing she is coming out!!! Just as he got his glove on. He caught the baby. It was quite dramatic. Taylor cut the cord and they placed our little girl right on my chest. Taylor started crying so of course I did. Our little girl was here!!! She was purple but they took her and cleared her lungs and then she was perfect. I felt like such a grown up. Taylor and I did this all by ourselves! We were mommy and daddy. We were a team.

I'm so grateful for my husband being there coaching me through every contraction and push. Even though we planned on my mom being there, it was so special having it be just us. I felt like we grew a 100 times closer. I love you T. And I love you baby Harper.

Xoxo, Carly